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On speaking entirely in our own language most of the time
“What are you doing?” I say as I come out of the steamy bathroom, wrapped in a towel. MindReader is wearing jeans, a t shirt, and a tie. “I’m trying to tie a Windsor knot,” he says, as he wraps the tie...
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Conversations in the kitchen
“Make sure you check on the spuds, too,” MindReader says, about to close the door. I love that he calls potatoes spuds. I am cooking on my own. My ability to stand up for a while, combined with the...
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Conversations about living together
MindReader and I are in disagreement about cats. Ideally, I would like 4 or 5. He would like none for the first 6 months and one thereafter. “Please please please,” I say, as we chop red onions. “I...
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Wherein I express emotions
As you know, I wanted to go pumpkin picking. However the nearest place was 30 miles away which MindReader felt was a long way to drive to pick one pumpkin. So we compromised and went to a GARDEN...
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The sea between us only amplifies the sound waves / Every hum and echo and...
I giggle as I slide into our living room. “The rug stops me now!” I say. We have been to Ikea and the bank is broken as predicted. “It smells of new carpet,” MindReader says, screwing the legs onto our...
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The frequent mentions of The Box indicate it is all The Box’s fault
I am making Vietnamise noodles for dinner and am feeling very smug. Because of the whole gluten-free issue, we miss things like Fajitas. Therefore I thought the solution would be to buy an...
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What it’s like to live with MindReader
A few nights ago, the neighbour came over to choose a book from our bookcase to take on holiday with her. Yes, I have a lot of books. For the most part, MindReader sat on the sofa being his shy self...
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Our own language, cont
“What is this film, anyway?” MindReader says. “It’s awful. You’ll hate it.” “Oh, good.” We have a complicated set-up in our house, as do all geeks (me, not MindReader), whereby we have to FTP films...
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Please leave a comment if you tell irrational lies too?!
“Are you okay to take delivery of your sofa on Saturday?” The lady says to me on the phone. “Yes, yes, yes,” I say. Sofas are important to me. I spend a LOT of time on them. Besides, MindReader and I...
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Just call me Jessica
“Close your eyes,” I say to MindReader. I am dressed as a rabbit, complete with bobtail. Wait, let me explain. It’s not what you think. I have been to Primark and purchased what is known as a onesie....
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